Joy.

Several years ago, I was listening to my friend Bob speak of how rough life was for him.  He was swimming in debt and just saw no way out of the hole.  I on the other hand was going through a period of blessing.  My credit cards were paid and my wife and I were both making fair money.  I remember thanking God for the blessings and asking him when it was my turn to suffer like Bob.

Flash forward to this past March.  "Peter Dearing, come on down!  You're the next contestant on WATCH OUT! LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST."  In March my wife told me I had to leave as she had filed for divorce. In April I learned my job was not going to last the year.  In May I ended up in the hospital for surgery and they screwed it up so it had to be done twice.

So now I have bills and soon no income.  What to do?

I turned to God and he has provided.  I have learned so much over past 6 months the I now understand when James 1:2-4  says:
² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Joy does not mean happiness.  It means being able to know that God is in charge.  That what I am going through is not a mistake.  He was not taken by surprise.  He is not having me settle for plan B.

I am by no means happy in my situation, but I have learned to lean on Christ in a brand new way.  My faith has been tested and I have learned that it is real.  That I truly am a child of God.  I have learned a bit of perseverance and even learned to be more mature and since March I have really lacked nothing.

My failed marriage saddens me, but I praise God for the man he is making me into.

This is the first time I mentioned my pending divorce in this blog and I do so with her permission.  I want all reading this to understand I am by no means an innocent victim of a wayward wife.  I did not follow God's principles for marriage for most of the 15 years we were together and I crushed my wife's spirit.  I made good strides starting last year but it was too little too late.

I have confessed to her and to God my sin and received forgiveness from both.  Though there is no eternal condemnation for me, there are still earthly consequences for that sin.  The hardest part for me is what my children will be forced to deal with.

Yet despite all that you now know, I have joy in Christ.  This hurts, but it is for my own good.

God Bless.